27 Jan What’s Behind Our Fear of Aging?
On the surface, it seems we are a society obsessed with maintaining our youthful look, a desire to be and feel younger, but what really is our fear about getting older/aging?
2015-when I started the blog. ( 10 years ago, when I started the blog. )
2025
Skin Care- The Wrinkles
Here I am just “scratching the surface”. What we see can often be a source of stress or dissatisfaction about aging.
Maybe you have been there. Those pesky “11” lines or the “crows feet” that have been bugging you for years. Easy fix right? It certainly isn’t easy to perhaps not see ourselves as we once were, but does eliminating those “problem areas” help significantly with the fear of aging?
I do use Retinol or prescription Tretinoin from my dermatologist, cleanse with Lancer’s “The Method” and do what I can to keep my skin looking good. But the fear of aging, doesn’t stop there.
AGING- WHAT ARE WE REALLY AFRAID OF?
This post came to mind as we moved my mom into a 55+ community here near us, about 15 minutes away. Much of the community is in their 70’s and 80s and it had me thinking.
When I think about this I wonder, “Are we scared of all of the things that comes with aging? Are we only concerned with the sagging, jowls, and/or wrinkles that may come with age? Sure, they aren’t fun to have, but I think it is something deeper .
Thinking about some of those in the spotlight, Bruce Willis, comes to mind. I actually have known 2-3 older people with Dementia. My Father in Law, who was diagnosed when he was 87, and a neighbor. I often think that the idea of “losing oneself ” as much more frightening than some lines on your face.
What can we do? Many times, hereditary or genetics plays a part, but we can certainly work on our brain as years go by. I, uncomfortably joke when I can’t come up with a word and slough it off as “Menobrain” or “Over50brain”. Really, I feel I shouldn’t be losing words at 56. I did have to watch with medication, as I take Lyrica, and had to lower the dose, because of this.
If you have Apple, and Ipad or Phone, you can play word games such as “Quartiles.” I have a love hate relationship with it and certainly do better in the mornings rather than evenings. Keeping your mind active is one thing that will help you with cognition. Any brain teasers or word games would be helpful. Doing crossword puzzles or word games will also keep the brain active
LONLINESS
Are we worried about losing friends and family in later years? Finding it difficult to connect with people after retirement or as we age? These are a few of the concerns, as we get older that can make us feel isolated or alone. As we get older, socialization remains important. Take a class, talk with other people, get involved.
HEALTH ISSUES
The worry about health declining is a real one. Keeping up with doctor’s appointments and being proactive is one way to keep up with one’s help. We worry about illness such as Dementia or Alzheimer’s, cancer or other debilitating diseases. I also know several older people ( in their 80s and 90’s) where some doctors don’t believe that they need to keep up with certain tests. My MIL was told at the age of 80, that she didn’t need a mamogram, later to find out she had breast cancer.
FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN
Let’s face it, the fear of the unknown, of death, is what I would consider our main justifiable fear, for certain. Not knowing what comes next is a fear that many people have. Some people find peace with their faith.
Mobility and Using Your Brain
Moving. We need to move. We weren’t made to just sit on our bums all day. With that would come weakness in muscles, and energy.
Even a bit of movement is better than none. I am not one that succumbs to the “New Year New You ” adage. I do think however, we can take stock of our health and make some goals or changes. Keeping up with medical appointments, socializing, learning new things, are just some ways we can try to keep “on top of things”, as we age.
We certainly don’t have control over everything, but adjusting what we can, and what we know about aging can help some.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject! Let me know in the comments.
Have a great day,
Jess xiii
Lizzie
Posted at 11:10h, 29 JanuaryWhat an amazing post, Jess! I agree with you on every point you made. I think the health stuff is what scares me the most. You just don’t know what cards you’re going to be dealt… but I don’t like to think of that. I think it’s important to stay active both in your body and mind as you age. Also, we are both coming up on ten years (I started the blog in 2015 as well) – yay for us hehe!
Lizzie
http://www.lizzieinlace.com
Jess Jannenga
Posted at 18:43h, 05 FebruaryYes, that does frighten me a bit, and that is why it is so important to know your family’s health history as well. Yes, being active, keeping your mind sharp, these things do help! Happy Blog Anniversary Lizzie!!
Pamela
Posted at 09:36h, 28 JanuaryWe always heard our parents say it, now we know it’s right! Health is everything, old age is wonderful as long as we have the health to enjoy it and, I have to say it, the means to afford it!
Pamela
http://www.style-yourself-confident.com
Jess Jannenga
Posted at 18:42h, 05 FebruarySo right! It really is the truth and yes, tell me about it!
Marsha Banks
Posted at 22:44h, 27 JanuaryMy greatest fear of aging isn’t my face or skin. I do take good care of it and have for decades. I’ve had several laser treatments to lighten age spots that had gotten quite large. I also use tretinoin and moisturize like crazy. I think I’m dealing with my greatest fear right now. My husband’s health is declining, and he’s beginning to give up. So, my greatest fear is losing out on all the plans we had for when we retired. Covid stole so many years, it seems. And, his health began declining as we were coming out of that. So, it’s been a number of years dealing with that. I can’t leave him alone for very long for fear he’ll fall and hurt himself so social events have to be short. I never saw myself in the role of caretaker as he’s always been so active. I always heard older people say getting older wasn’t for the weak of heart. I believe them now.
jodie
Posted at 14:56h, 27 JanuaryI love how there is so much research and options at our fingertips that weren’t available to our parents. We can learn so much and change the path of our aging to be healthy and fun.
XOOX
Jodie
Kathy
Posted at 14:35h, 27 JanuaryI am in the camp who fears the disability that sometimes comes with aging. I just turned 70. So far, I am very healthy with the exception of the frequent tendinitis that pops up regularly dues to EDS. (I suspect my EDS is milder than yours, but I have been plagued with tendinitis in 13 different joints since I turned 40. I am currently in a two year plus battle with gluteal tendinitis in both hips.) I feel that I am also fortunate in looking young for my age. I am regularly told that I look like I am in my early 50s. It is nice to look well preserved. I do make an effort to take care of myself. Will I like looking really old? Probably not, but the alternative (death) is worse, ha, ha.
Unfortunately, not all is well in my household. My husband of 50 years is 74. We are almost exactly 4 years apart in age. His health battles impact both of our lives. We had hoped to travel in Europe when we were older. However, he has some pretty severe mobility issues. He needs a walker and if we have to go any distance at all, he needs a scooter. We do not expect his mobility problems to get better as he ages. We actually expect the opposite. Travelling in Europe with its cobbled streets and multiple staircases will be very challenging when and if we can afford to go, I feel I will need to consult a travel agent who is familiar with working with handicapped individuals. My husband regrets that we were not able to travel sooner. However, his early retirement (age 50) with the consequence of reduced income, my continuing employment (financially necessary), and the fact that we (umm, I) provide childcare for our grandsons means travelling is indefinitely postponed. I am a realist who believes that European travel has probably become nothing but a pipe dream for us.
Many things that I would still enjoy doing are no longer possible, I thought that when I. became a very elderly woman there would be certain physical activities that I might no longer be able or want to do. I did not foresee having to stop certain activities decades earlier because my husband could no longer do them. I have family role models who embody what a healthy, very old age look like. My nearly 95 year old mother still cuts her lawn with a push mower. Her sister just turned 97. Both my mom and my aunt look many years younger than their true age. My mom takes NO prescription medications. My mom and my aunt are still mentally sharp and are quite well physically. (I think that one has to be physically well to make it into the 90s!) They are both in much better physical condition than my 74 year old husband.
So, what do I fear about aging? Physical infirmity. I pray that I age like my mother and my aunt. I need to remain healthy for myself, my daughter, my grandsons, and especially my husband. If I were not with him, he would probably need to be in assisted living at this point.