11 Aug Do Your Fears Hold You Back?
Yes. Let’s get to the meat and potatoes.. I know last week I talked about summer beauty products and we do want to know, but I also want to know somethings on a deeper level..I have talked before about “Confidence at Midlife” and asked ” What Makes you Happy?‘ but today I thought I would discuss if your fears hold you back in life.
I do think about this often. I have always had a fear of heights. However, I knew years ago that I wanted to learn how to rock climb. The idea of climbing upward, with a rope around my waist, didn’t really concern me. It was the rappelling down a 50 foot rock face that scared me more! I learned how to do it, it was just the uncertainty, the fear that kept me from wanting to do it. Fast forward .. after some time, I had learned to rock climb and felt good about taking that metaphorical and literal leap!
I am thinking about fear in other ways. Do you fear something so much, that it almost paralyzes you or does not permit you to move forward? When I was in college, I was in a blues band. I played bass. I loved it. Surrounded by my college friends, it felt a bit safe. Later, years down the line, I wanted to perform. I went to school for Music, but had only studied jazz for a few years after switching from classical. I would find people who wanted to form a duo, but wanted me as the “background player” .. basically strum some chords, while they played in the forefront. Nothing jived. Soon after this, EDS reared its head and I couldn’t sit long enough to play guitar, nor did the pain in my hands/fingers allow it… Years went by and I became stronger in my health, but didn’t pick up the guitar.
Why was I waiting….
The fear of not playing well, of failure, or incompetence, over took me and my interest in guitar. It was all or nothing. I almost felt like if I couldn’t play like Wes Montgomery, I wouldn’t bother. It was the fear of not being good enough in my mind, that would hold me back of playing something I loved. Even for my own enjoyment. My husband could tell me I was an amazing player, but I continued to listen to that voice.
In the midst of feeling like this, I decided I would take an acting class. Talk about FEAR! I had no experience, unless you count a tree in my grade school play or the chorus in the middle school production of the HMS Pinafore. I continued each week, not letting the fear of inexperience get in my way. I had fun. I was learning something new. I was Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias ( monolgue). I left there feeling good in what I accomplished, and the fact that I tried something new.
You know the fear that may come about at midlife. The fear of getting older. I wonder, is this what we fear, or do we concern ourselves about becoming “invisable” or ” irrelevant”? I think the best we can do is be ourselves, the best version of ourselves and be happy with who we are.
I used to have an unfounded fear of flying. My dad instilled it in us when we were young, for no apparent reason. He was afraid to fly, then we became afraid to fly. I still get nervous flying, but I want to see the world, and not miss experiences I wouldn’t have if not for flying. This is another example of how fear can limit you.
Fear can hold you back. I think what I learned is to ask myself, ” What is the worst thing that could happen by doing this?” Answer that in situations where I might be afraid of something. Recently, I had an experience, that I will later share, for the blog, and despite my fear, I decided to go for it. Sometimes we need to challenge ourselves and really see what we can do. Try not to let the little voice inside hold you back.
I would love to hear if or how your fears have held you back? What did you do to overcome them ?
As a footnote, I have picked up my guitar recently, and one of my favorite songs to play is Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd. 🙂
Have a great weekend!
And just in case you missed the posts, the first time around, Here is the trip to Savannah GA in two parts.
PART 2- Tybee Island and Beach