23 In Personal

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall…


Morning Ladies,

How do you perceive yourself? Is it the same way others see you? Often times we are hard on ourselves, and I think, as women,  compare ourselves  to others or we find flaws in our own selves. I loved this quote by Marilyn Monroe, Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.’ There are so many quotes about being yourself, and being happy with what you see. 
What I have come to realize over the years, is that, i strive to be a good person and the person I am proud to be. All of the insecurities over the years, especially in my youth have faded, as i look at myself as someone who has overcome challenges, a person who cares about others, and someone with a strong relationship with family.

I remember thinking, when i was in high school a friend of mine was modeling for Kaufmann’s newspaper as a print model. I wanted to be like her. I thought her blonde hair was perfect, she was taller than me, ( even me being 5 9;)and popular, I thought she had it all. By contrast, I was bullied, had a difficult time with people in school and just wasn’t happy with myself. I thought a lot about how I could change, and what i should do to make myself more attractive.

They say you get ‘wiser’ as you age, and I think it is because we are more introspective. Appearance matters, but our internal self is of such importance. When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Are you reassuring and positive or do you find fault in all of the wrinkles or so-called “imperfections”? As a woman at midlife, I do what I can for skin health and making myself feel good, so i do think of things I like about myself, both physically and emotionally.

I wonder if you heard of the new Google App that matches your selfie or face to a famous painting? I looked this up and noticed some people’s likenesses were being compared to Botticelli, Rembrandt. I joked with my husband saying mine would be a Picasso, as I have a sharp jaw and angled features. It was a joke! That is the thing, you have to be able to laugh at yourself! I try not to take everything so seriously.

Next time you wake up and look in the mirror, think of 3-5 things you want to say about yourself in a positive manner:

  1. Name a feature you love about yourself. I love my green eyes. They are big, expressive and remind me of my Dad, as both he and I  are the only green eyes in the family.
  2. My smile is lovely. Again, it makes me think of my Dad, as when we grew up, he had a darkroom. I was conditioned to smile for pics hehe, and was told I had a nice smile.
  3. I am a caring person and love to think of other people. I am one to enjoy sending “thank you’ notes or letters as I do think it is just that extra little step that shows your appreciation to people.
  4. I am outgoing. I love to talk to people. I remind myself of my mom, as she can make friends with a total stranger!

So tell me, do you see yourself how others see you? Are you kind to yourself ?

If you enjoyed this post, read a prior post, Confidence at Midlife.

As always , thank you for your comments. I enjoy hearing from you.

Have a great weekend!

Jess xo

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  • Reply
    January 28, 2018 at 4:13 pm

    I love this post and can totally relate! After years of growing pains, I am finally at ease with who I am and I love me! I may not be the most attractive person, the smartest or most successful. But I am the unique blend of those things that only I can be. So I recognize it and appreciate it.

    • Reply
      Jess Jannenga
      January 29, 2018 at 9:44 am

      Hi Elsie, so glad you enjoyed this post. i think it is so important to appreciate and love who we are. I appreciate your comment. xx

  • Reply
    passion fruit, paws and peonies
    January 23, 2018 at 3:49 am

    Great post Jess. Like many women above, I only started being okay with myself in my forties. Isn’t age a blessing! You’d think we’d all lose it completely as we get older, but our values change and I’ve learnt being a beautiful person is always better and beauty really does come from within. People who want to put you down matter less and less x

  • Reply
    January 22, 2018 at 8:57 pm

    You are a beauty Jess, inside and out, and it is obvious to everyone I should think! I am so sorry you were bullied as a younger woman, that is inexcusable. But perhaps you have learned to be more sensitive from that awful experience. I like to think that good things can come from bad…
    The Eternal optimist. I know. …
    Thanks for sharing this!

    • Reply
      Jess Jannenga
      January 23, 2018 at 11:31 am

      Thank you Elle. I appreicate your comment and sweet words. Yes, i do think you learn from certain life experiences! xx

  • Reply
    Suzanne Carillo
    January 22, 2018 at 3:46 pm

    I think this day and age is the worst with social media and the selfie generation. We focus so much on our exteriors. As bloggers it is especially difficult. Sometimes I long for the days when we took photos only a couple times a year because it was the only time we had the camera and it was too expensive to develop the photos.

    I’ve never had an issue with self acceptance growing up but this roller coaster ride of aging can be pretty difficult to navigate at times.

    One thing I do know now that I’m older and wiser…is that this is the only body I’m getting. I need to be grateful for every day for that gift.

    Great post!


    • Reply
      Jess Jannenga
      January 22, 2018 at 4:32 pm

      Tell me about it Suzanne! I agree totally and honestly know I would not be on social media much if it wasnt for the blog. I know what you mean… photos were special,. You took them out to show your family etc and you certainly didnt ear with a camera at your table. i miss those times too! I think it wouldn’t be realistic if we all didnt at some time or another not love the signs we see aging. i do try and think of those positive things that i am grateful for, like you said.. a igft. I appreciate your input! thanks. Jess xx

  • Reply
    January 21, 2018 at 2:31 pm

    Such a wonderful and inspiring post, Jess! Finally in my 40’s, I can say with the utmost confidence that I do love myself and I don’t cringe when I look in the mirror. I see a beautiful, kind hearted, caring, compassionate, intelligent woman staring back at me from the looking glass. I think that is the power of our years. Thank you for such an inspiring and important message! And thanks for linking up with me.


    • Reply
      Jess Jannenga
      January 22, 2018 at 12:34 pm

      Thank you Shelbee, i appreciate your input! xx

  • Reply
    January 21, 2018 at 9:30 am

    Thank you for this very insightful post, Jess. I am past the “midlife” timeframe (unless I live a very long time!!) and agree with your comments. Hopefully as we mature, we become more accepting of ourselves and less obsessive about our “flaws”. However, I sometimes think the current social climate lends itself to relentless comparisons and harsh judgments on individuality.

    • Reply
      Jess Jannenga
      January 21, 2018 at 10:05 am

      i know what you mean. My hubby and i joke ( i’ll be 50 this summer) as i say.. i think i am a bit passed midlife unless i live to be 100! I understand what you are saying, and feel that it is natural to compare ourselves at times. it is only when it impairs our own way of thinking about ourselves that i think is detrimental. I appreciate your thoughtful comment. xx

  • Reply
    Laura || Walking in Memphis in High Heels
    January 19, 2018 at 9:31 pm

    This is such a wonderful post. I do feel like we grow and learn that confidence comes from everything we’ve all been through and learned in life. I can relate to this post so much, thank you for sharing, we’re all in this together.

    • Reply
      Jess Jannenga
      January 20, 2018 at 10:55 am

      Thank you Laura! I am glad you enjoyed reading. I do certainly feel that it can take time for self acceptance, but confidence does often come with age and our experiences. Have a great weekend! xx

  • Reply
    January 19, 2018 at 5:10 pm

    Something I think we’ve all experienced in our lives. You’ve expressed it so well. First i was the short girl, the pretty girls friend, then i was the fat girl. Not until my 40s did I start to really find Ronnie and appreciate her for who she is. Thanks for this lovely post!

    • Reply
      Jess Jannenga
      January 20, 2018 at 10:54 am

      Thank you Ronnie for your input. so right, many of us have experienced some trying time when we were younger, and i often hear from women that it wasn’t until they turned 40, etc.. that they were proud of the person that they have become. xx

  • Reply
    January 19, 2018 at 1:07 pm

    Beautiful post! I think as women it’s easy to fall trap in the comparison game. As a newbie blogger I actually feel intimidated because I see so many other beautiful, attractive women and it makes me feel self conscious but along the way, I have also learned that beauty isn’t about external features. While it’s great eye candy, what matters most are what is inside. For example, to be loving, to be selfless, to be grateful, to be a family man or woman, these are things that take maturity, grace and self reflection. In the long run, it’s what I see for in myself, for others and for those who I want to surround myself with, it is what I chose to see.

    Maureen | http://www.littlemisscasual.com

    • Reply
      Jess Jannenga
      January 20, 2018 at 10:52 am

      Hi Maureen, thanks so much. I think you are quite insightful! We all get into the comparison zone at times, but i think realizing that, and being happy with what you are, have etc.. is something we strive for. You are so right about what you see for yourself, and who you want to be,. i appreciate your input! xx

  • Reply
    January 19, 2018 at 10:02 am

    I can so relate, Jess. Because growing up I always wanted to look so different.
    But I think that’s the best part of getting older…finding acceptance of what we are!!
    Have a great weekend.

    • Reply
      Jess Jannenga
      January 19, 2018 at 10:30 am

      Hi Jodie, thank you for your input. i think it comes to accepting and loving yourself for who you are, inside and out. With getting older, comes growth, and as I wrote silly insecurities do fizzle away. It isnt always easy, but I think a positive attitude and outlook help us to look at ourselves in a more realistic way. Enjoy your weekend as well. xx

  • Reply
    Jess Jannenga
    January 19, 2018 at 9:57 am

    Thank you Cheryl, i do think midlife is one of the best times in our lives, as we can take a real look at ourselves and be the person we want to be! xx Have a great weekend!

  • Reply
    January 19, 2018 at 9:55 am

    Happy Friday Jess! I love this post so much! We do become more confident as we get older! Our life experience gives us confidence, especially when we’ve been through hard times and come out on the other side! Even though we’ve never met, I know you’re a such a kind and caring person just from your blog posts and sweet comments! Thanks so much for another great post!

    • Reply
      Jess Jannenga
      January 19, 2018 at 10:00 am

      Hi Suzanne! Thanks so much! I do think confidence is after you grow as a person and through our experiences, like you said. You are so sweet Suzanne, and I feel the same about you. One thing I have enjoyed about blogging, this is my 4th year coming up, and i have shared more personally throughout the years. have a great weekend!xx

  • Reply
    Northwest Mountain Living
    January 19, 2018 at 9:54 am

    Lovely post Jess! I went through a lot of the same as a young girl. Not until I hit mid 40s did I change some of my views of myself. Now it’s all good. Thanks for sharing!

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